Semester Four. A Disaster

Actually, it seems that the fourth semester of my university life has started and I felt that I don't seem to be myself anymore. It seems like I cant concentrate on my studies well as before and I seem to feel down at times also. Is it because that I realized I have chosen the wrong path or am I 
thinking too much?? It seems that I have become much more clumsier than before, much more indecisive,doing things in a much more slower pace, much more affected by how other people treated me and taking so many little things too seriously.

This is why I describe semester four as a disaster semester. Now I feel like I want to go home and meet my family and relax not thinking about my studies for just a while. Even though I just finished my holidays, it seems that this semester is much more worse than the previous semester. More workload, more things that was not understood, more new things to learn and all these things has to be finished in at least four months!!! Is this really how a university life is for science students?? Why is so unfair that our Bachelors Degree is so much difficult than some of the subjects and what we get at the end was not equivalent to what we give at the beginning??? Well this is understandable that I have chosen this course and I have to finish it to the end. I have gone so far and I don't really wish to give up just like that. I think its my aim is too high and I have been stressing myself to go to my goal.

Certain conflicts... Hmmm shouldn't be called as conflict. Misunderstanding should be I can say happened between friends. Misunderstanding happened between both parties. And both parties are my friends. I really am sandwiched in between them and this is sometimes very difficult for me to take into consideration at two parties.. This is really stressful at times where you have to be careful of what you wanted to say before the words really came out of your mouth. As this might hurt one of the party or maybe both. 

Moreover, just did something so clumsy that I even accidentally tumbled my water bottle and water splashed onto his book.. I just don't know why things happen in the way that I don't want to happen. Things happen for a reason. But this is so sudden!! I didn't mean to do so.. I really hoped his book was fine and I hope that he is no t angry at me.

Next, group work has made my life real difficult. I don't know why as people said, more people more heads more hands and your work will be lighter. I don't know why grouping seems to be very difficult for me and it seems like it becomes more and more difficult for me to talk to people now.. I just want to go back to my ownself and be myself that is cheerful and talkative and friendly. How I missed my first semester. All I thought is that university life was not as difficult or stressful than secondary or higher secondary level but instead, it doesn't seems so easy as you look at it in the papers or magazines. It actually is a fraud and also full of fallacy.

But things like this happened for a reason in our life to make us realize how the real world look like. So, I just need to look all of this in a positive way and think of what mum had said to me. You go study is to learn new things and skills that can help you in the future.. and not for you to get pressure from getting a score.